Last night’s Emma Stone-hosted Saturday Night Live saw Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump sabbatical continue, with a cold open rather concentrating on some other prominent scalawags played by going to celeb royalty. In a sketch parodying MSNBC’s lineup of behind bars reality voyeurism, the kickoff sketch saw Kate McKinnon’s Lori Loughlin(mail fraud, loan laundering, college admissions abundant individual chicanery), Pete Davidson’s satanically slimy Michael Avenatti (a lot more lawyerly shadiness than you believed), and Melissa Villaseñor’s Tekashi 6ix9ine (” just burglary and gun stuff“) all sharing the same cell for their misdeeds. Each competed for the baddest brand-new kid on the cell block by taking pride in their well-documented criminal offenses, with Loughlin coming out on leading by not just bribing her way into the regional Nation Of Islam gang but boasting to her cowed cellmates that’s she’s been through a TELEVISION wringer that would drive anybody beyond the verge. (” I’ve been in 68 Hallmark movies,” McKinnon’s Loughlin sneered to shaken prisoner Chris Redd, “I’ve seen hell!”) She also has a tooth brush shank for anyone who plays that Auntie Becky shit.
However the undisputed king of the crazies turned out to be the sketch’s biggest surprise, as a bearded, nigh-unrecognizable Michael Keaton became recently incarcerated Wikileaks founder and “real James Bond supervillain” Julian Assange. Cornering tough-talking con Kyle Mooney, Keaton’s crazy-eyed Assange threatened Mooney with the worst fate of all– his web search history, penis pictures, which folder of Shark Tank pitches. “You wan na know how insane I am?,” asked Keaton’s Assange happily, “I’m wanted in the U.S. and Sweden, I’m from Australia, I live in London, in Ecuador– you try figuring that a person out.” And if Keaton’s Assange didn’t have the mellifluously accented wicked purr of Costs Hader’s, he at least brought a Batman quote to the party. After all, Assange will, as the cleansing staff of the Ecuadorian embassy can confirm, get nuts.